Sunday, December 14, 2008

Worried

So tomorrow (Monday) I finally get to go into the Doc's and start my process of trying to find out why Rob and I have not and can not for the life of us get pregnant. We have been fighting tooth and nail for about 6-8 months now to get an apt like this. You see in the military I cant just call and say I would like to see this kind of doctor for this kind of problem. I have to go from one doctor to the next to see if the can fix my problem. But you see the problem is, is one doctor to the next doesn't feel like putting the time and the effort into someone who has a problem who would take them more the 10 mins to try and fix so they tell you to wait a few more months and make another apt. at which time you have to start from the bottom of the latter again. Well I have finally hit a doc who realizes that hey this girl really might have something wrong with her lets get her into a doctor who deals with this kind of stuff and get the ball rolling. So with that said tomorrow morning at 9:30ish (8:30 ish central time) I will be seeing a doctor who specializes in my area of problem. Please pray that everything goes smoothly and that I don't just get passed from one person to the next. That I am dealing with a women. That I don't have an emotional brake down walking trough the doors (this is the same hospital that I went to when everything started with the loss of Joey and I am having a hard time dealing with that in its self right now, for some reason when the holidays come not having Joey around hits me hard). And last but not least that I get some type of answers out of all of this.
Part of me is scared to death that I am going to walk out of there tomorrow and they are going to tell me that Mrs. Razzano you can no longer have kids. Now if that is what it is then that is what it is. Are they going to have answers like that on just the first day I don't know probably not but for some reason that is a HUGE fear of mine. That would crush me and Rob. We both so badly just want to have at least one more kid. We want Robbie to have that little brother or sister that he is always asking for now (expecally now that he gets a little bit of what happened to Joey). I don't know, now I am rambling. I am putting this in the Lords hands where it was in the first place and trusting him. He has the pen and is writing our life's stories. He is the author of my life NOT me or the Doctors.

3 comments:

Bonnie said...

Brittany, I'll be thinking of you!!

Beth said...

Praying for you Brittany! I hope all goes well.

Erin said...

Praying