Giving my Child a Fighting chance.

Alright I might be a couple days off on this but around this time last year I found out through ultrasound that I had regained some water around Joey, not alot but some!! We where SOOOO EXCITED that there was finally something around him!! Well later that early afternoon I was given some med's to help me with some stuff and not even a half hour later I was throwing up due to those med's. Well needless to say when I threw up it also forced any of the water that I had regained out. I WAS NOT HAPPY. I felt like it was all my fault. If I had chosen NOT to take this medications then the water would still be around Joey and not all over me in the bed. I was given medications to be able to have a BM because I had not had one in over a week so they where trying to get me to be able to go because my stomach was REALLY starting to cramp. So that was how I started my day off about year ago today. Later on in the afternoon was next too one of the hardest days of my life. I had to lay in bed and talk to a Doc who told me that when and if I do deliver my baby before the 23-24 week mark they where going to do NOTHING for him because he was not "viable". I was SICK to my stomach and pissed off at the same time. Some of the things that where talked about that I can REALLY remember where this. I had the doc tell me that if and when Joey comes and it is before the 23-24 mark they where NOT going to do ANYTHING to try and save him. I said I cant take that I cant let you do that. I asked him so if I do deliver him and he comes out breathing you are going to just let him suffocate to death?? I thought that you guys where here to SAVE lives?? I gave him this to think about. I asked him if he has any kids himself, and he said well yes I do. I asked him ok well if your kid got hit by an 18 wheeler and they brought him to the ER and the doc took one look at him and said ummmm... well I dont THINK he is going to make it so I am not going to do any work on him to at least TRY and save him. Would you fight for your kids life. Would you tell him to get to work and try to save your kids life?? He said yes but this is different. I said NO it is not different they are both living breathing human beings, mine is just inside of me. You could tell that he was NOT happy with me after I gave him that little seniero to think about. They where going to make me sign a consent form giving them permission to even attempt to work on Joey cause they DONT work on babies below the 23-24 wk mark. HOW SAD IS THAT. I told him that I cant see who he is to tell me that my son should our shouldn't have a fighting chance if he came out alive (breathing then having to suffocate). I told him that I would not be able to live with myself as a person or as a mother if I didnt put up EVERY fighting chance for my son. At the end of EVERY day I need and wanted to feel like I did EVERYTHING I could do for Joey. At the end of the talk the doc told me that he had NEVER seen someone fight for their child so much in a situation like mine. So that made me feel a little bit better yet upset more cause I thought that it was even sad that I had to put that fight up.