2 years ago today.......

Instead of being able to bring my baby home all wrapped up in a blanket I had to bring what I had from my baby home in a bag. That is one of the worst feelings to come home with is NOTHING. I couldn't stand knowing that I was leaving my baby behind me and going home without him.

When the hospital was discharging me they came in and had given us some remembrance stuff for Joey. They had given us a disk with 3 pics of Joey on it. The cloths and blanket he was laying on in those pics. The tape that they had measured him with, 2 little stones for Rob to put in his pocket or to do with what he wanted (they sit in a little cross box that I got for him with Joey's name engraved on it). They had given Robbie a very little fuzzy bear to remember his little brother by (we are still wanting to put that little bear into a build a bear for him we just found out where one is down here so we are going to go do that sometime this week maybe). And latter found about a couple days after we buried Joey I found a very little ring in his packet and come to find out he was holding that same ring in his pics that they had taken so I now wear that ring around my neck on a special necklas that my mom and dad bought for me to go with a VERY special charm that my mom and dad had made for me with Joey's hand and foot print on it. The hospital had also given us real prints of his hands and feet and also one of those hand casing kits with his hands and feet in them (Lisa my friend had given them that just in case my out come came out the way it did. Which I am VERY grateful she did that). I have also gotten a few things over time from people that are a GREAT remembrance of Joey. So at the end of everyday after I tuck Robbie into bed I go and I have my Joey time. I will still pull out all of his stuff and look at it and have my time "with Joey". I know nothing I can do will ever bring him back but like I have said he is in a MUCH better place right now, and even though I sometimes catch myself thinking "but what place is better then in mommy's arms"? I slap myself out of it and just think of the song Glory Baby.